i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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