So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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