It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
