before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
