On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
