big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
