im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
