how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
