It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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