it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
