East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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