I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Two words: blizzard sex
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
