Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
