ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
