Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
