how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
