god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
