True but thats because hes a fetus.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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