My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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