I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
