i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
did i walk over a car last night?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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