Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
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