Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
