Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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