i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
