It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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