dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i believe in u and ur pee
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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