At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
