so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize