I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
