Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
