My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize