I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
