well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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