I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
