and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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