just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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