It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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