Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
