i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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