How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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