please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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