Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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