brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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