I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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