Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
