She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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