once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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