Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
vagina is talking i cant
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
