Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
