I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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