Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
