Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I love you. Go after that dick
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
