yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think my fart just growled at me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
