and you said cock pushups were impossible
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
