Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
