thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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