if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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