she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
