Me too!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
