Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
