I heard we made out
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
